Remember that embarrassing pitch PRESBO flung toward homeplate at the All Star Game? Probably not, because the network didn't broadcast the entire pitch. But surely you remember PRESBO's introduction. Here's an angle you may not have considered. To explain away the boos, PRESBO wore a White Sox jacket.
Here's the theory: because the St. Louis folks hate the Chicago White Sox, any boos could be explained by the loyal Cardinals fans showing their displeasure with the White Sox. Those boos were not directed at PRESBO, the exhalted leader, but at the White Sox shirt. Yeah. Right.
These advisors must be batshit crazy. Or out of touch. They've lost their bearings. Anybody in Missouri knows that St. Louis Cardinal fans don't give a fat rat's ass WHAT happens to the Chicago White Sox. It's the Cubs they want to kill. You see, the Cardinals and the Cubs are in the National League. The White Sox are an American League team. Meh. Nobody cares about the White Sox.
When the benchwarming All Stars were introduced, you may have notice the resounding round of boos for the Cubbie. When the White Sock was introduced, there was no resounding round of boos. See? Cubs = boos, White Socks = polite applause. That's how we do in St. Lou.
Who advised PRESBO to wear a BLACK, LONG-SLEEVED warm-up jacket on a summer evening in downtown St. Louis? Have they not heard of humidity? It must have been 95 degrees or more down on the field, with the heat index even higher. You're not from around here, are you, PRESBO? Maybe that's how you do in Hawaii. Maybe that's how you do in Indonesia. Maybe that's how you do in the White House in winter. Maybe that temp is comfortable and comforting to you. That jacket looked out place in the Gateway City. Don't tell us that body armor covers your arms, too. A short-sleeved blouse would have sufficed.
Those boos were all yours, PRESBO, courtesy of the real American people, the bitter, prayin' gunclingers.
Side note: the Musial family was not pleased with PRESBO usurping the spotlight. Wasn't this a baseball game? To celebrate great baseball players? Not a commercial for the president and his programs?
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
How Does Her Garden Grow?
PRESBO's Date Week in Other Countries has really outdone the New York date night. It has brought us Medvedev and Putin puttin' PRESBO in his place (which is a naive, inexperienced leader not ready for the world stage), the older daughter flaunting a peacenik T-shirt and shades, PRESBO leering at an underage backside, an old rag (though a holy rag) as a gift for the Pope, a campaign speech on PRESBO's home continent hammering against tribalism, patronage, and nepotism (unless you're the U.S. President), and yammering that young people are the future, with banners proclaiming Yes, Together We Can. Does Axelrod have a case of slogan-writer's block?
But wait, there's more right here at home. FLaMO's "We Were Against the War from the Beginning" Garden is full of lead. That's right, FLaMO has been feeding foreign dignitaries and D.C. school children poisoned vegetables. Apparently the poisoning hasn't hurt FLaMO. Have you seen that woman's backside lately? Reportedly, the Os will continue eating produce from their garden, despite the double-lead content. But what about the children? Somebody needs to tell FLaMO that a child's mind is a terrible thing to waste. She might as well sprinkle their cereal with paint chips harvested in those Chicago neighborhoods where The Community Organizer 'worked.' How about going down to the Whole Foods and buying unleaded vegetables to go with that $100/lb Wagyu beef, you cheapa$$ photo-op queen? Stop skimming your grocery money to buy $500 sneakers and $6000 purses!
The lead level in the White House Garden is reportedly 93 ppm. Minnesota considers 100 ppm to be dangerous for children, while in the Netherlands that limit is 40 ppm. Hope none of those school children who FLaMO had digging up her garden touched their hands to their mouths, or chewed on their fingernails.
Since the media is spinning, here's some lead info from Minnesota.
Background concentrations of lead that occur naturally in surface agricultural soils in the United States average 10 parts per million (ppm) with a range of 7 to 20 ppm. Soils with lead levels above this range are primarily the result of lead contamination.
Because of the possibility of bare soil exposure to children through hand to mouth activity, soils with lead levels exceeding 100 ppm should not be used for gardening. If soil exposure to children is not a concern, then plants can be safely eaten from soils with soil lead levels up to 300 ppm.
The Minnesota State Legislature has established a bare soil standard of 100 ppm. This level of 100 ppm is currently lower than the levels used by the United States Environmental Protection Agency and most other States. A level of 300 ppm is commonly used, which is based on measured risks of eating soil by young children. Eating soil by young children is of particular concern since intestinal absorption of lead is approximately five times greater in children than adults. It is assumed that about half of the lead in the soil eaten by children is absorbed. The amount absorbed from soils (bioavailability) is dependent on many variables including the health, diet, and age of the child. Whatever soil lead limit is used depends on the frequency and duration of exposure before an assessment can be made.
The dietary exposure that results in blood levels of concern has been estimated to be 60 micrograms of lead per day for children 6 years or younger. Given a soil lead level of 100 ppm (100 micrograms per gram), eating approximately two teaspoons of this soil per week would be required to give the same amount of lead found in a diet that can cause elevated blood levels of concern. This calculation is based on the assumption that half of the lead in the soil eaten by children is absorbed. For a soil that has a lead level of 300 ppm, eating about three quarters of a teaspoon per week could cause elevated blood lead levels of concern.
According to Minnesota State Rules, residential soil containing more than 100 ppm lead does not have to be removed unless the presence of paint chips is visible. Covering bare soil with sod or other materials is adequate. If your soil tests high in lead (greater than 100 ppm), it is recommended that children in the area under the age of six have a blood lead test. Contact your local health department or private physician for information about blood lead testing.
Bon appetite, kids!
But wait, there's more right here at home. FLaMO's "We Were Against the War from the Beginning" Garden is full of lead. That's right, FLaMO has been feeding foreign dignitaries and D.C. school children poisoned vegetables. Apparently the poisoning hasn't hurt FLaMO. Have you seen that woman's backside lately? Reportedly, the Os will continue eating produce from their garden, despite the double-lead content. But what about the children? Somebody needs to tell FLaMO that a child's mind is a terrible thing to waste. She might as well sprinkle their cereal with paint chips harvested in those Chicago neighborhoods where The Community Organizer 'worked.' How about going down to the Whole Foods and buying unleaded vegetables to go with that $100/lb Wagyu beef, you cheapa$$ photo-op queen? Stop skimming your grocery money to buy $500 sneakers and $6000 purses!
The lead level in the White House Garden is reportedly 93 ppm. Minnesota considers 100 ppm to be dangerous for children, while in the Netherlands that limit is 40 ppm. Hope none of those school children who FLaMO had digging up her garden touched their hands to their mouths, or chewed on their fingernails.
Since the media is spinning, here's some lead info from Minnesota.
Background concentrations of lead that occur naturally in surface agricultural soils in the United States average 10 parts per million (ppm) with a range of 7 to 20 ppm. Soils with lead levels above this range are primarily the result of lead contamination.
Because of the possibility of bare soil exposure to children through hand to mouth activity, soils with lead levels exceeding 100 ppm should not be used for gardening. If soil exposure to children is not a concern, then plants can be safely eaten from soils with soil lead levels up to 300 ppm.
The Minnesota State Legislature has established a bare soil standard of 100 ppm. This level of 100 ppm is currently lower than the levels used by the United States Environmental Protection Agency and most other States. A level of 300 ppm is commonly used, which is based on measured risks of eating soil by young children. Eating soil by young children is of particular concern since intestinal absorption of lead is approximately five times greater in children than adults. It is assumed that about half of the lead in the soil eaten by children is absorbed. The amount absorbed from soils (bioavailability) is dependent on many variables including the health, diet, and age of the child. Whatever soil lead limit is used depends on the frequency and duration of exposure before an assessment can be made.
The dietary exposure that results in blood levels of concern has been estimated to be 60 micrograms of lead per day for children 6 years or younger. Given a soil lead level of 100 ppm (100 micrograms per gram), eating approximately two teaspoons of this soil per week would be required to give the same amount of lead found in a diet that can cause elevated blood levels of concern. This calculation is based on the assumption that half of the lead in the soil eaten by children is absorbed. For a soil that has a lead level of 300 ppm, eating about three quarters of a teaspoon per week could cause elevated blood lead levels of concern.
According to Minnesota State Rules, residential soil containing more than 100 ppm lead does not have to be removed unless the presence of paint chips is visible. Covering bare soil with sod or other materials is adequate. If your soil tests high in lead (greater than 100 ppm), it is recommended that children in the area under the age of six have a blood lead test. Contact your local health department or private physician for information about blood lead testing.
Bon appetite, kids!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The Substitute-Teacher-In-Chief
PRESBO is like a substitute teacher.
People love PRESBO because he's so COOL! He's way cooler than the regular President.
PRESBO puts his feet up on the desk, and he doesn't wear a suit in the Oval Office. He changes the thermostat to please himself.
PRESBO doesn't follow the rules like a regular President would. Thirty days written notice to fire somebody? Not for PRESBO.
Salute the serviceman standing at the steps of Marine One? Not our PRESBO. He's a people person. Servicemen are people, too. A handshake is PRESBO's solution. Everybody's equal.
A beer at the basketball game? "Cheers!" says PRESBO. The regular President would never do that! It's not a good example for kids. The regular President has to be a good role model, or parents will complain.
Same for smoking. The regular President would never let it get out that he once smoked. Or took drugs. Or even thought about taking drugs. Some things are better kept secret (if you can), not published in books. PRESBO is proud of his vices. They make him a regular guy.
PRESBO lets Tony Hawk skateboard down the halls of the White House. That's so COOL. The regular President would never let that happen.
PRESBO does not have to take responsibility like the regular President. The buck doesn't stop with him. There's always somebody else to blame or to let make the tough decisions.
PRESBO is just minding the Oval Office until a real President comes back. He'll move the furniture, make his own rules, ask you not to tell, and be your buddy. Yes, PRESBO is your friend. He's one of you. You're all in this together.
PRESBO has a cool cell phone, even though regular Presidents aren't supposed to have them. What are they gonna do, fire him?
PRESBO doesn't eat in the cafeteria like the real Presidents. He goes out for cheeseburgers. And he'll bring one back for you.
PRESBO doesn't notice the ever-increasing layer of spitwads stuck to the ceiling. And if it is pointed out to him, he declares that they must have been put there when the regular President was in charge.
PRESBO does not have a clue that the regular Presidents laugh about him behind his back, and that his reputation has spread to Presidents of other countries.
PRESBO doesn't have to do any real work, just mind the country until a real President comes back. Oh, the real President has left procedures and policies for PRESBO to follow... but PRESBO does what he wants, what is convenient for him. The world's not going to end because PRESBO changed the assignment.
OR IS IT?
People love PRESBO because he's so COOL! He's way cooler than the regular President.
PRESBO puts his feet up on the desk, and he doesn't wear a suit in the Oval Office. He changes the thermostat to please himself.
PRESBO doesn't follow the rules like a regular President would. Thirty days written notice to fire somebody? Not for PRESBO.
Salute the serviceman standing at the steps of Marine One? Not our PRESBO. He's a people person. Servicemen are people, too. A handshake is PRESBO's solution. Everybody's equal.
A beer at the basketball game? "Cheers!" says PRESBO. The regular President would never do that! It's not a good example for kids. The regular President has to be a good role model, or parents will complain.
Same for smoking. The regular President would never let it get out that he once smoked. Or took drugs. Or even thought about taking drugs. Some things are better kept secret (if you can), not published in books. PRESBO is proud of his vices. They make him a regular guy.
PRESBO lets Tony Hawk skateboard down the halls of the White House. That's so COOL. The regular President would never let that happen.
PRESBO does not have to take responsibility like the regular President. The buck doesn't stop with him. There's always somebody else to blame or to let make the tough decisions.
PRESBO is just minding the Oval Office until a real President comes back. He'll move the furniture, make his own rules, ask you not to tell, and be your buddy. Yes, PRESBO is your friend. He's one of you. You're all in this together.
PRESBO has a cool cell phone, even though regular Presidents aren't supposed to have them. What are they gonna do, fire him?
PRESBO doesn't eat in the cafeteria like the real Presidents. He goes out for cheeseburgers. And he'll bring one back for you.
PRESBO doesn't notice the ever-increasing layer of spitwads stuck to the ceiling. And if it is pointed out to him, he declares that they must have been put there when the regular President was in charge.
PRESBO does not have a clue that the regular Presidents laugh about him behind his back, and that his reputation has spread to Presidents of other countries.
PRESBO doesn't have to do any real work, just mind the country until a real President comes back. Oh, the real President has left procedures and policies for PRESBO to follow... but PRESBO does what he wants, what is convenient for him. The world's not going to end because PRESBO changed the assignment.
OR IS IT?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
PRESBO Hosts a Step Contest
Why are the lefties so upset about Sarah Palin? Who cares if she runs her mouth because David Letterman made a fool of himself? Why do they get so worked up? If Palin is such a joke, they have nothing to worry about. Don't listen to her. Change the channel. What's with this strange fascination they have with her? It's like PRESBO and basketball players.
Funny how the lefties are outraged that some southern congressman said an ape might be FLaMO's relative. Were they outraged when George Bush was called a chimp on a regular basis? Don't think so. Was 'Chimpie' a form of endearment?
Could somebody please put some salt on PRESBO's tail? Or nail one foot to the floor? Or put superglue on his chair? Something must be done to keep that man in the White House and off TV. All broadcast and no work makes B-Rock... exactly what we thought he'd be if elected.
Did you know the President can fire a 78-year-old man for doing his job too well? Youbetcha! Because HE WON. And it's all about his unnatural fascination with basketball players.
Breaking News: Presidential Statement To Get On TV Some More
"North Korea, I'm going to draw this line in the sand. And if you cross it... I'm going to draw another line in the sand. If you cross that, I'll just draw another one. You'll see, North Korea. You shall rue the day you stepped over MY line in the sand, because I'm just going to keep on drawing those lines until you're exhausted. Or until you step on over here to my country. And once we cross the country, one line at a time, I'll just back off into the ocean. I like the ocean. I was born in Hawaii, you know."
Funny how the lefties are outraged that some southern congressman said an ape might be FLaMO's relative. Were they outraged when George Bush was called a chimp on a regular basis? Don't think so. Was 'Chimpie' a form of endearment?
Could somebody please put some salt on PRESBO's tail? Or nail one foot to the floor? Or put superglue on his chair? Something must be done to keep that man in the White House and off TV. All broadcast and no work makes B-Rock... exactly what we thought he'd be if elected.
Did you know the President can fire a 78-year-old man for doing his job too well? Youbetcha! Because HE WON. And it's all about his unnatural fascination with basketball players.
Breaking News: Presidential Statement To Get On TV Some More
"North Korea, I'm going to draw this line in the sand. And if you cross it... I'm going to draw another line in the sand. If you cross that, I'll just draw another one. You'll see, North Korea. You shall rue the day you stepped over MY line in the sand, because I'm just going to keep on drawing those lines until you're exhausted. Or until you step on over here to my country. And once we cross the country, one line at a time, I'll just back off into the ocean. I like the ocean. I was born in Hawaii, you know."
Friday, June 12, 2009
Different Jokes For Different Folks
Did you hear about the PRESBO's trip to Europe? He and his family declined a dinner invitation from French President Sarkozy and his wife. The reason? Sarkozy knocked up PRESBO's daughter. Ha ha ha ha! Isn't that a good joke? A joke suitable for a CBS late-night talk show?
FLaMO went shopping while in France. She needed to expand her wardrobe to better enhance her image as a slutty Bozo-the-Clown.
PRESBO and FLaMO had originally planned on taking their daughter with them on their New York date night, but decided against it. They were afraid the Secret Service couldn't keep Eliot Spitzer off of her.
Words. Just words. Only a sampling of humor fit for an entertainer such as David Letterman. Nothing wrong with that. No harm, no foul. If PRESBO doesn't want his daughter to be the butt of jokes from such entertainers, he shouldn't have paraded her across TV on Access Hollywood and on the front lawn of the White House with that dog and hauled her on the European Vacation 2. He's a public figure, and he put his children in the limelight. He'll just have to deal with it.
From the What's good for the goose is good for the gander files. Obamaniacs would likely disagree, having one set of needs for the gander, the hell with the goose.
FLaMO went shopping while in France. She needed to expand her wardrobe to better enhance her image as a slutty Bozo-the-Clown.
PRESBO and FLaMO had originally planned on taking their daughter with them on their New York date night, but decided against it. They were afraid the Secret Service couldn't keep Eliot Spitzer off of her.
Words. Just words. Only a sampling of humor fit for an entertainer such as David Letterman. Nothing wrong with that. No harm, no foul. If PRESBO doesn't want his daughter to be the butt of jokes from such entertainers, he shouldn't have paraded her across TV on Access Hollywood and on the front lawn of the White House with that dog and hauled her on the European Vacation 2. He's a public figure, and he put his children in the limelight. He'll just have to deal with it.
From the What's good for the goose is good for the gander files. Obamaniacs would likely disagree, having one set of needs for the gander, the hell with the goose.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Put That In Your Pipe And Smoke It
Sheriff Joe doesn't know his ass from a tunnel in the ground. VP Joe Biden says a new New Jersey Transit System tunnel under the Hudson River is for cars.
Sonia Sotomayor is a lame nominee for Supreme Court Justice. While running for a plane in sensible heels, something a white male would never have done, Sotomayor tripped and broke her ankle. Did she go to the best orthopedist available? OR did she make a conscious choice of an empathetic female hispanic orthopod... or did she follow the traditional route and choose a white male orthopod?
FLaMO is in a snit because Carla Sarkozy invited her to dinner. If looks could kill, FLaMO would be our Number One Assassin.
PRESBO can't grow balls, but he can grow a John Waters mustache. FLaMO can probably grow a better mustache than PRESBO.
As Emperor of the World, PRESBO thanked the other world leaders for attending the D-Day celebration at Normandy. Gordon Brown was so impressed that he immediately renamed Omaha Beach for the Emperor. Never mind that it was not his to rename. At least he didn't name it 50 Classic American Movie DVDs Beach.
With PRESBO away so much, can we turn the White House into a time share? For somebody who went to such great lenths to get there, PRESBO sure doesn't seem like he wants to BE there.
Let's see... David Letterman can insult women because he is just an entertainer. Don Imus, also an entertainer, was fired for insulting Black women. Oh. It was because they were Black. Not because they were women. Don would have been all right if he had merely called them HOs. It was that blasted nappy-headed adjective that got him in hot water.
The ladies of The View saw nothing wrong with Dave's jokes. Because Sarah Palin put her kids on TV, so they are fair game. And anyway, Dave was talking about BRISTOL Palin, who had a baby out of wedlock, not WILLOW Palin who was the daughter at the baseball game, so it is OK to make jokes about her being impregnated by A-Rod during the seventh inning. Because BRISTOL got herself pregnant, you see, and that is the joke. Apparently, an out-of-wedlock baby born to a teen mother is shameful and wrong, and deserves a comeuppance in joke form on national TV for the little whore (in case you missed it, the other joke was about keeping Eliot Spitzer away from the Palin daughter that Dave later specified to be BRISTOL, not the only daughter who went to New York, WILLOW) unless the baby she delivers grows up to steal the Presidency of the United States. Then it is a noble thing.
But right-wing Elisabeth took objection to the putting the kids on TV so that makes them fair game argument. What about the Obamas putting their girls on TV in that several-part interview for Access Hollywood? According to Whoopi, Joy, Sheri, and Barbara: that was different! The Obama daughters should not be brought into jokes! That's not right. They are children who are not in the spotlight. Leave them alone.
Let's leave Rev. Jeremiah Wright and his Jew statement for another day.
Sonia Sotomayor is a lame nominee for Supreme Court Justice. While running for a plane in sensible heels, something a white male would never have done, Sotomayor tripped and broke her ankle. Did she go to the best orthopedist available? OR did she make a conscious choice of an empathetic female hispanic orthopod... or did she follow the traditional route and choose a white male orthopod?
FLaMO is in a snit because Carla Sarkozy invited her to dinner. If looks could kill, FLaMO would be our Number One Assassin.
PRESBO can't grow balls, but he can grow a John Waters mustache. FLaMO can probably grow a better mustache than PRESBO.
As Emperor of the World, PRESBO thanked the other world leaders for attending the D-Day celebration at Normandy. Gordon Brown was so impressed that he immediately renamed Omaha Beach for the Emperor. Never mind that it was not his to rename. At least he didn't name it 50 Classic American Movie DVDs Beach.
With PRESBO away so much, can we turn the White House into a time share? For somebody who went to such great lenths to get there, PRESBO sure doesn't seem like he wants to BE there.
Let's see... David Letterman can insult women because he is just an entertainer. Don Imus, also an entertainer, was fired for insulting Black women. Oh. It was because they were Black. Not because they were women. Don would have been all right if he had merely called them HOs. It was that blasted nappy-headed adjective that got him in hot water.
The ladies of The View saw nothing wrong with Dave's jokes. Because Sarah Palin put her kids on TV, so they are fair game. And anyway, Dave was talking about BRISTOL Palin, who had a baby out of wedlock, not WILLOW Palin who was the daughter at the baseball game, so it is OK to make jokes about her being impregnated by A-Rod during the seventh inning. Because BRISTOL got herself pregnant, you see, and that is the joke. Apparently, an out-of-wedlock baby born to a teen mother is shameful and wrong, and deserves a comeuppance in joke form on national TV for the little whore (in case you missed it, the other joke was about keeping Eliot Spitzer away from the Palin daughter that Dave later specified to be BRISTOL, not the only daughter who went to New York, WILLOW) unless the baby she delivers grows up to steal the Presidency of the United States. Then it is a noble thing.
But right-wing Elisabeth took objection to the putting the kids on TV so that makes them fair game argument. What about the Obamas putting their girls on TV in that several-part interview for Access Hollywood? According to Whoopi, Joy, Sheri, and Barbara: that was different! The Obama daughters should not be brought into jokes! That's not right. They are children who are not in the spotlight. Leave them alone.
Let's leave Rev. Jeremiah Wright and his Jew statement for another day.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
PRESBO Humps Sotomayor
This has gone on long enough. Aren't you tired, tired, tired of it? What's the big deal about getting the first Hispanic woman on the Supreme Court? Why can't we just get the most qualified person of whatever pedigree who will support PRESBO's agenda? Because it's his pick, you know. He won. But why is he always trying to make something THE FIRST? Stop pandering. You won. It's three and a half years until your next election. Life is not a popularity contest. Pick the MOST QUALIFIED person.
Oh, and what's with this double standard of picking a woman because she is just as worthy as a man, and then freakin' KISSING her as she is introduced? PRESBO didn't give Sheriff Joe Biden a kiss, did he? At least not in front of the camera. Stop patronizing women! Keep your paws off and your lips to yourself. This is business, not pleasure. Unless you are going to kiss the man and be all Frenchified like Sarkozy, then don't kiss the woman. It smacks of patronage. Why don't you just pat her on the head like a child you are indulging? Because she's less in your mind, isn't she? Isn't that why you kiss her, and put your hand on her back, and steer her around, like you did with Hillary in the debates? Just like your wife manhandled The Queen. It's surprising that you both don't just hump those your meet like dogs, showing your dominance, your perceived superiority.
Except for King Abdullah.
Oh, and what's with this double standard of picking a woman because she is just as worthy as a man, and then freakin' KISSING her as she is introduced? PRESBO didn't give Sheriff Joe Biden a kiss, did he? At least not in front of the camera. Stop patronizing women! Keep your paws off and your lips to yourself. This is business, not pleasure. Unless you are going to kiss the man and be all Frenchified like Sarkozy, then don't kiss the woman. It smacks of patronage. Why don't you just pat her on the head like a child you are indulging? Because she's less in your mind, isn't she? Isn't that why you kiss her, and put your hand on her back, and steer her around, like you did with Hillary in the debates? Just like your wife manhandled The Queen. It's surprising that you both don't just hump those your meet like dogs, showing your dominance, your perceived superiority.
Except for King Abdullah.
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